Downsides: Strange Disappearances

Downsides to living alone #4: Dude, where are all of my underwear? What about the other purple polka dot sock? My fave shoes? Seriously. I live alone, so nobody else has them. Not in the dryer, not under the bed, not in the car, not where they belong.

Sweet baby Moses, the basement clowns are real.

Upsides: Noise

Upsides to living alone #4: Holy moly, its 4am. Do I care? Nope. I love 4am, I live for 4am. Hey guess what? I'm going to do laundry, bang pots and pans, whistle, watch tv and flush the toilet over and over again until its time for work. Why? 'Cause nobody else is here and I can.

Downsides: Garbage

Downsides to living alone #3: Apparently full garbage bags can't walk themselves out to the trash bin. Jury's still out on the empty ones but I imagine they're just as lazy.

Upsides: Doors

Upsides to living alone #3: Door? What door? Oh, that? You have to close that thing when you're changing/peeing/pooping/showering/sleeping/reading/watching crappy tv/listening to loud music/making faces in the mirror?  Oh, that sucks. It sucks to be you, you door-closer.

Downsides: Dirty Stuff

Downsides to living alone #2: What? The bathroom is dirty? OH, Mom's coming over? ON WHOM SHALL WE PLACE THE BLAME FOR THAT RING-AROUND-THE-BATHTUB?

Crap.

Upsides: Crappy TV

Upsides to living alone #2: You know all those shows that were "too scary" for you to watch when you were little ...back in the 90's? Well, good news. You're all by yourself now and you've got Netflix. As soon as you start watching you realize the shows weren't too scary, your parents were just embarrassed that they were watching such crappy television. The best part? Its horrible but you can still watch ALL NINE SEASONS 'cause you're all by your loney. Nobody will ever know.

Downsides: Tornados

Downsides to living alone #1: Have to go in the cellar-like basement alone during a tornado. Bet there are clowns down there. And not the kind that show up at birthday parties. Can you picture it? Passing the time with basement clowns? Creating balloon animals to dampen the fear. And you're not even sure which you're more afraid of; the weather situation outside or your new friends.